Q: Dear Susun and Karen
I am 41 years old, turning 42 in September. My partner is 43. We have been trying to conceive for the last 19 months without success. I found the Susun Weed website about 2 months ago and have been trying Susun's advice.
I bought her book the 'childbearing year' and I am currently taking Red Raspberry leaf tea - 1 to 2 cups a day. Vitex - 1 squirt from the dropper per day into a glass of Red Clover Blossom infusion which I make up myself - about a cup a day. I also drink a cup of Nettle tea in the morning and try to eat as much organic produce as possible.
I visited an infertility specialist today as a followup to a hysteroscopy/laparoscopy that I had on May 3. She tells me there is nothing wrong physically, but my age is the problem and it is unlikely that I will ever concieve naturally. I will need the help of drugs such as Follicle stimulating hormone or Clomiphene. I am loathe to take drugs and the conversation scared me as I so wish to conceive naturally. She told me my eggs would be sad and tired and probably not very healthy because of my age.
It 's so depressing when I keep being told my age is a barrier to being able to conceive. Are you able to advise if what I'm taking is adequate as I would much rather prove her wrong and take these nourishing herbs than try the expensive prescription drugs. Everyone tells me that if I want a child that much, I'll take the drugs. But to me, it doesnt feel right.
I know I havent been on the herbs for long but do you see a possibility in conceiving without resorting to fertility drugs? Should I change what I'm taking or up the dose? I believe my cycles are fairly normal.
Thankyou for your wonderful website. I wish I'd found it months ago!
Regards
A: I hear your desire to have a child. And I totally understand your reservation to take the drugs. I would not equate that with a lack of passion for conceiving. As a woman and mother I understand one of the many beauties of having a child is the whole process, the natural beautiful magical process.
I can not answer for you whether you will be able to conceive. We are all unique. BUT based on my experience and what I have read and heard and witnessed, you being 41 definitely does not mean you can not conceive! So since I can not speak for the intricacies of your particular situation, I can confidently say women in their early 40s can conceive. Women in their late 40s do, and sometimes even in their early 50s!
I am sorry for the negativity around you. This must be daunting as you strive for something so meaningful to you. Sometimes though this can help us stand taller for what we want. I encourage you and support you to go for what you want. We always must know we may not get it, but you may. Two months is not long. And you may wish to drink up to 2 cups of the Red Clover blossom infusion a day. The Nettle leaf you may wish to make as an infusion rather than a tea and drink 2-4 cups of it a day. The Vitex berry tincture can be taken as a dropperful 2-3 times a day rather than one.
These are all wonderful nourishing things. Even if you don't conceive they will enrich your life. Even if you choose another method to help you conceive, they will make you that much more of a stronger mother for your child, as well as help against some of the damage the drugs may do. I invite you to give yourself a time limit perhaps. I would not make it any less that 6 months of diligently working with these herbs. Perhaps a year or two, or more. You are 41, if your doctor is saying you can not conceive now, I don't imagine you walking in the door at 42 or 43 would make that much of a difference when asking for the hormone drugs. I do understand though the desire to have a child now, but hear in your resistance to the drugs your desire for the whole process to be beautiful.
Don't forget your partner. He should be drinking the Nettle leaf infusions also :)
Good quality fats are key to a well functioning hormonal system.
I assume you read Susun's excerpt from New Menopausal Years the Wise Woman Way on "Fertility After Forty". I would not overlook the addition of focus on the earlier suggestions. Your mental state is important as is your partner's. Lunaception would be worth a try. As well you may wish to explore Natural Family Planning as a way to wrok more intimately with your cycles, know when you are best able to conceive and have a more personal relationship to the whole process. You can read about it here: http://www.gardenoffertility.com/. And here is a link to a woman who teaches it if you want more instruction than a book, http://www.fertaware.com/. Another good book on this topic is Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler.
This all may seem like a lot of work, but think of it as tending a garden in the spring. All the care and attention and fussing over bring rich luscious food later. Of course I know is the looming over that it may bring nothing, but that is true anywhere in life. We work hard toward our goal and life can often take a side turn we don't expect. This is doubly why the process has to be as precious and feel just as right as the desired outcome.
I am glad you wrote and encourage you to surround yourself with more positive images of conception at your age. The article is a start. We have a book that was a help to me. I was not over forty when conceiving but had been told for many years I was not able to conceive. I attribute why I was able to in part to reading the writings in this book, Conscious Conception by Jeannine Parvati Baker. You can get it through us, Ash Tree Publishing, or most major bookstores, or possibly even used stores or through a library. It has been around a while.
Blessings,
Karen Joy
wisewoman@herbshealing.com
www.wisewomanweb.com
Q: Dear Karen
Thank you for your email. It was very comforting. I understand there are no guarantees in this world but I am committed to trying to conceive naturally and healthily. I found your links extremely interesting.
Particularly about food and nutrition and the links to 'Real Milk'. I had no idea how mankind had destroyed such a wonderful natural product. I will certainly be trying to source some real milk and butter for myself and my partner. It's very overwhelming and saddening to think we have to fight to find natural food sources. Milk being only one such product.
I will continue to use the herbal advice from your email and Susun's book.
Thankyou for your time in replying to my email.
In love and light
A: So wonderful you will nourish yourself so well!! You are welcome to write any time if there is anything further we can help with. We would also love to hear how you are doing down the road, should you ever wish to share :)
with love,
Karen Joy
Recent Comments