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June 27, 2006

The Deep Ecology of Birth

by Kara Maia Spencer, www.MaiaHealingArts.com, www.BirthEcology.org

Birth is a sacred rite of passage for women, a life-altering experience that brings knowledge, experience, growth, and discovery. There is great power and potential inherent in pregnancy and birth. Labor is an altered state of consciousness that the woman journeys through in order to discover her birth power. The sacredness of mothers, babies, and birth must be honored first and foremost, for the survival of humanity and our earth. A wise birth saying is, “Peace on Earth Begins with Birth”.

The newborn’s emergence at birth imprints the baby with the first impressions of the world. The baby has an instinct to be born, the mother’s body ripens for birth but she must be patient to wait for the baby’s unique time. Physiologically, it is the baby who initiates labor, signaling the mother’s body to labor and birth. The baby is a conscious participant in the birth journey. When a mother listens to her body and her baby, and gives birth instinctively, that child is imprinted with the ability to respect and honor their body and being.

Conscious birthing is an ecstatic experience, and women who birth instinctively can even experience orgasm and spiritual awakening. Birth becomes a tantric experience between the mother and baby, as they communicate through deeper consciousness and without words. Birth is one aspect of the women’s cycle of fertility and sexuality, and all the rites of passage in women’s sexual cycles are ecologically vital and have ecstatic potential.

The women’s sexual life cycle includes many rites of passage: menarche, menstruation, childbirth, and menopause. These are known as the Blood Mysteries, and have been honored by traditional cultures around the world for thousands of years. The women’s mysteries are opportunities for sacred connection to nature, deepening self-understanding, gaining new wisdom, and creative potential.

Women’s cycles are a deep source of connection to nature. The menstrual cycle is guided by the moon; the lunar cycles influence the tides of the oceans and women’s wombs. We experience the cycles of nature physically every day, the cycle of the day and night, the moon cycle, the solar cycle of the seasons, and we experience natural cycles within our bodies, the lifecycle, the menstrual cycle, and the birth cycle. The gestation of pregnancy is actually ten lunar cycles, and many people call the postpartum time, the babymoon.

Throughout gestation, the mother and baby are biologically one unit. The baby is dependent upon the health, nourishment, and love of the mother. Humans live in the womb of Mother Earth, and we are all interdependent upon the health of the planet and our environment, which provides us with everything from atoms to atmosphere, to food, shelter, and medicine.

The Earth is our Mother. She gave birth to all of us; all the trees, mountains, herbs, flowers, animals, minerals, and humans are her children and family. The web of interconnectivity binds us all. There is an Earth-Body balance that is vital for health; a balance between ecological health, such as a sense of connection to place and environmental health, and somatic health, the physical, personal, and inner essence of body and spirit well-being.

Humanity must honor our interdependence with nature in order to heal our bodies, and our Earth. Western culture’s disrespect for the Earth is seen is the destruction of the environment, natural resources, ancient forests, atmosphere, and oceans. This is mirrored in the highly invasive treatment of women’s bodies in medicine, media, and childbirth practices. Western culture is no longer in sync with the rhythms and cycles of nature. We are cutting open our bodies and our planet. The farther we push ourselves from living ecologically, in balance with nature, the more we kill ourselves and our planet. How do we find a way to regain balance?

In our vision to create a safe world for children to live in, we must begin with making birth safe for children, so that they may be at home in their bodies. In order to heal birth, we must care for the whole health of mother, baby, family, and community. Healing art midwifery must address the body, mind, heart, and spirit of mother and planet. Each birth is a seed for humanity. The journey to healing begins with addressing the birth trauma that we carry, from our own births, and the births our ancestors. Each birth brings a new opportunity to preserve the garden.

June 20, 2006

To Lie or Not To Lie

Here is an interesting question someone posed on a Group I belong to:

“I think that everyone has encountered being lied to by someone at one time or another in their lives. I know my kids lie to me daily about things from if they finished their lunch to who broke my eggs I use at Ostara on the altar. (Sigh) It is reinforced that lying is wrong and "immoral", so I am curious - do you agree with that statement? Why or why not - where are the boundaries that make lying ok or not ok?  I think this question has many variables, as different people perceive a lie differently. I think that if you tell someone something that will affect their decisions or free will, that is immoral. I also think that some things told are to protect someone from harm, which would not be immoral.  For example, when my son lost a tooth, and the tooth fairy came and exchanged money for the tooth. In essence, I lied to him, but was it immoral? I don't think so.  Also, there is the ability to withhold truth, which is not exactly lying, but would fall under that category. When I ask my husband how I look in a certain outfit, and he tells me I am beautiful...when he thinks the outfit is totally ugly…he is with-holding that fact from me to protect my feelings.  I guess to me, this question makes me feel that it is the intent behind the lie that makes it moral or immoral.”

Here is my response:

I think there are three basic reasons for lying:
1. To not hurt another person's feelings, which leads to…
2. To protect ourselves from another person's reaction to our truths, and;
3. To continue a tradition set by society that the majority of people are already doing (i.e. Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy), making it acceptable, or even required by society (what kind of parent are you, not telling your kids about Santa and the Easter Bunny??? You Scrooge!!! You assassin of childhood joy!).  And yes, I told my daughter the lies of Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I told a whopper of a lie once when I forgot to put money under her pillow one morning...she came to me in tears...I actually had her SEEING the Tooth Fairy flying away after I slipped a dollar under her pillow! So I was not only a liar, but also a SNEAKY liar!

My daughter has asked for my opinion on various outfits she chooses to wear. She wants to know if I like it or not. Some I do and I tell her. Others, I just don't like. And I tell her "no I don't really like that outfit; it just doesn't do a thing for me, but if YOU like it, by all means wear it!" She may be disappointed that I don't like some of the latest teen-age fashion statements but she doesn't really care in the long run. As long as SHE likes it and her FRIENDS like it, all is cool in our household (but I'm lucky she doesn't dress like Brittany Spears and ilk). Likewise, she has let me know if she likes or doesn't like something I'm wearing, but as long as I like it and she doesn't have to wear it, she doesn't really care. Now, both of us sometimes tell the other "you know, that shirt your wearing/how you’re wearing your hair/etc. just doesn't look good on you! PLEASE change it!" We have felt disappointed but grateful for the honesty, especially if we ask for each others opinion, AS LONG AS IT'S DONE WITH LOVE & RESPECT, and NOT to cause hurt and shame; there are good ways and not good ways to be honest. If I ask someone for their opinion, I want them to be honest with me WITH LOVE & RESPECT, and not hold back something they think I may not want to hear. I don't want them to not honor their truth fully (as long as it's done in love & respect) just because they're worried about my feelings. If I’m wanting to hear a specific answer to a question I ask, and I get mad/hurt/sad when I don't hear what I want to hear, I feel I shouldn't have asked the question. I also feel that if someone thinks they have to lie or hold something back to spare a person's feelings, are they instead sparing themselves from the fallout of a negative reaction for giving a full, honest answer? Who are they really protecting in this kind of situation? The other person or themselves?

As for lying to protect someone from harm, I need an example before I comment fully on that one.  But right off hand, I feel that telling them the truth AND about the dangers (whatever they may be...what's dangerous to us may not be to the other person we feel we have to protect) so they can come to their own conclusions and decisions. Otherwise you run the risk of losing the person from your life when they find out you lied to them.

I feel a lie is a lie is a lie; whether one considers it a moral lie or an immoral lie doesn't make it any less a lie. But I feel the truth MUST be told with Love and Respect; if someone can't do that, they need to keep their opinions to themselves; don't be honest at the expense of another person. That spreads poison and that is just SO WRONG. There's enough poison in the world; we don't need to add to it.

Has anyone read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz? Being impeccable with your word is his first agreement to live by. Not always easy, that's for sure! But definitely something worth striving for, I think.

So…what do YOU think?