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My Raptor Dreams

I’ve had significant dreams about Raptors. About three years ago I dreamed about a Cooper’s Hawk up in an Oak tree. It appeared to be firmly grounded in the tree while stretching for the skies, which was a beautiful blue. It also appeared to be surrounded by a filmy white light.

On 1/7/06 I dreamed of a Red Fox in a den, a Lynx, and a Barn Owl. The Barn Owl looked a little roughed up. The day before this while I was driving on the by-pass going back toward the office (this is not a dream) I saw five Red Tail Hawks. I see a lot of Hawks during my drives.

Then, a couple of months ago I dreamed I was holding a Cooper’s Hawk on my left arm with a leather guard protecting my arm. A Bald Eagle was scrambling around on my right arm. I was concerned because I didn’t have an arm guard on, but I was not being hurt.

According to Ted Andrews, author of Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small, dreams of raptors, such as the Red Tail Hawk reveals much about a person. He says about this Hawk:
“The red tail is very symbolic. It has ties to the kundalini, the seat of the primal life force. In the human body it is associated with the base chakra, located at the base of the spine; the coccyx or tailbone. Those who have a Red Tail Hawk as a totem will be working with the kundalini. It can also reflect that this bird becomes a totem in your life only after the kundalini has been activated.” (My side note: I have recently started on my Menopausal Journey, the part called perimenopause). “It can also reflect that the childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. It may pop up as a totem at that point in your life where you begin to move toward you soul purpose more dynamically…The ability to soar and glide upon currents is part of what hawk can teach…It teaches how to fly to great heights while still keeping your feet on the ground…Hawks are occasionally harassed and attacked by smaller birds. This is very significant…It indicates that there are likely to be attacks by people who won’t understand you or the varied and different uses of your creative energy. They may attack your ability to soar.” (My side note…how very true!!!). “The Red Tail Hawk is usually a permanent resident in an area, although occasionally it may migrate. This permanency reflects that as a totem, this hawk will be with you permanently once it shows up…Because of the strong energy (the intensified life-force) activated by this totem, any individuals with it must be careful in how they express themselves. There will unfold within you the ability to tear off the heads of any snakes in your life, or anyone or anything seen as an enemy. Your comments and actions will be like the hawk’s beak and talons—strong and powerful, but with a capability to tear and/or kill…The sky is the realm of the hawk. Through its flight it communicates with humans and with the great creator spirit. It awakens our vision and inspires us to a creative life purpose.”
Animal-Speak. Copyright 1993 by Ted Andrews.

So what do you think?  Any insights for me?

Some Random Thoughts

September 4^th, 2006                                                                                         Labor Day

Today is such a beautiful day.  The sun is shining, except for the brief moments of hiding behind the gorgeous cumulus clouds in the bright blue sky.  I have been thinning my yard; since I don’t own a working lawnmower, I have to thin by hand.  I don’t mind; I like the look of my wild lawn and it’s less than an acre.  Earlier in the summer there was a beautiful Columbine flower.  She has since faded back but there are other beauties to admire.  Around the perimeter there are a few golden Goldenrods, many Rose of Sharon bushes (which are spreading like wildfire), Peonies and wild Black Raspberries.  Throughout my lawn are millions of Common Blue Violets.  In the back the Burdock was so out of control I had to thin them; a small herd of deer could have hid among them!  Silver Maples, Mulberries, a single Catalpa and Ash are the few trees around my property.  I also have many large Pokeweed bushes along the back side of my house and guarding it all is lots and lots of Poison Ivy.  I also have many rather large Spiders spinning their webs around my house and property, adding their protection to my little haven.  The Poke berries are big and ripe and I found myself harvesting them a little while ago.  I have them on a white sheet to start drying.  I was blessed to get quite a few berries and still leave some behind to reseed.  I put some of the seeds along the back of my property, where there are no plants shielding my property from the neighbors.  It is my goal to have a natural fence around my property, hiding me from the small town I live in. 

I feel the Wheel of the Year slowly turn to Autumn, my favorite season.  Feeling Summer slowly fading away always leaves me feeling nostalgic.  Life is winding down, as all push to get the final preparations done before Winter closes in.  I’ve seen many fat groundhogs attesting to this fact.  After the first frost I will probably harvest some Burdock root.  I firmly believe that the plants that grow around a person are growing there for a reason.  Namely, the plant has something to offer that the person needs.  And, since I have historically taxed my liver, I figure I need to get some in.

For the most part, Summer was uneventful.  I did notice a baby Nuthatcher trying to hide in the Japanese Yew earlier in the season.  The poor little thing had fallen out of its nest and could not make it back up the big Silver Maple, where its anxious parents were fretting about.  I coaxed the little bird onto my finger, cradled it to my chest, and put it as high up in the tree as I could.  With the help of its grateful parents it scampered up the tree to safety.  A couple of months later as I was working on the computer, a Nuthatcher landed on the screen in my window and looked at me briefly before flying away.  And about a week ago my shoulder acted as a ‘rest stop’ to a little butterfly.  Those moments I cherish. 

Quite often I feel that no one in my life understands me.  I am called ‘weird’ and ‘strange.’  No one understands why I love and admire Spiders, Snakes, and Poison Ivy.  They don’t understand the lessons they have to offer.  People just don’t understand that the Universe communicates with me through Nature.  About a year ago a Catholic Priest drenched me with Holy Water to “see if I would sizzle.”  No joke.  He was only a bit relieved when I didn’t; he was obviously still quite concerned for my soul.  Luckily that doesn’t happen too much but it really emphasizes how off the beaten path I am to society, at least where I live. 

Sometimes a person has to make painful decisions and sacrifices to live their authentic life.  It isn’t always easy being true to yourself.  But the alternative, living a lie to fit in with how society/family says you should be, will slowly erode at your soul, leaving you empty on the inside.  So I will continue standing up for all the underdogs of nature, regardless of all the strange comments I get from people.  And I will continue to live my life authentically because living a lie, living my life according to other people’s standards, is too great a sacrifice.   

So what do YOU think? 

Making Rooted Decisions

For anybody successfully through thier Astrological time of Saturn returning, you'll already know what this is about. It begins around the age of 27 and continues to flip flop itself ruthlessly through your chakras,  your life; your thoughts, and your core belief systems for about three years. All of the sudden things start happening, or they get stuck, or you start feeling deeply restless, but nonetheless it makes absolute havock.

I'll spare you my grueling three year saga, because really what I am trying to learn, and I think many women and men are too, is how to make decisions from my deepest, truest self. It's the darn hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I don't even think I've done it yet.

When I was in my early youth, decisions didn't even make me blink. I knew exactly what they were within a nanosecond. No mulling, no making lists or asking tarot, no crying at the river or depression for days - the decisions practically made themselves. Why is that? How is it that in our teens we are so divinely present, blissfully selfish, that making choices weather big or small seem effortless. We take risks and speak or mind, ready and invincible against naysayers and so full of willpower that we sound almost arrogant.

But now, in my early thirties, married 11 years and with two children, I'm faced with life changing, gargantuan sized decisions. And it's not just me anymore. My choices effect my whole family. They are not so easy. Thinking of outcomes with all thier great and not so great qualities, makes my head spin, my heart pound, my breath stuck, and I go absolutely haywire. So much so that I can't hear my own wants and needs. That voice, that was ever so loud and clear, just isn't there anymore. She's gone!

So, I wonder, how is it that we can get down to that strong voiced woman again and serve her well. Which physical reactions are the ones to avoid, and which ones do we follow? Which ones say 'I should do this because I'm afraid"

and which one sais "I want this - and I don't care if I'm afraid"

It's an answer that still evades me. I listen daily to my sensations, how I breath during certain thoughts. How my heart beats. What makes me happy to wake up in the morning and how will I find that more often.

And although I still have no rooted choices to make that I know whole heartedly are my true will, perhaps it's not learning how to choose at all that's the lesson, but how to listen again, is.

To Lie or Not To Lie

Here is an interesting question someone posed on a Group I belong to:

“I think that everyone has encountered being lied to by someone at one time or another in their lives. I know my kids lie to me daily about things from if they finished their lunch to who broke my eggs I use at Ostara on the altar. (Sigh) It is reinforced that lying is wrong and "immoral", so I am curious - do you agree with that statement? Why or why not - where are the boundaries that make lying ok or not ok?  I think this question has many variables, as different people perceive a lie differently. I think that if you tell someone something that will affect their decisions or free will, that is immoral. I also think that some things told are to protect someone from harm, which would not be immoral.  For example, when my son lost a tooth, and the tooth fairy came and exchanged money for the tooth. In essence, I lied to him, but was it immoral? I don't think so.  Also, there is the ability to withhold truth, which is not exactly lying, but would fall under that category. When I ask my husband how I look in a certain outfit, and he tells me I am beautiful...when he thinks the outfit is totally ugly…he is with-holding that fact from me to protect my feelings.  I guess to me, this question makes me feel that it is the intent behind the lie that makes it moral or immoral.”

Here is my response:

I think there are three basic reasons for lying:
1. To not hurt another person's feelings, which leads to…
2. To protect ourselves from another person's reaction to our truths, and;
3. To continue a tradition set by society that the majority of people are already doing (i.e. Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy), making it acceptable, or even required by society (what kind of parent are you, not telling your kids about Santa and the Easter Bunny??? You Scrooge!!! You assassin of childhood joy!).  And yes, I told my daughter the lies of Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I told a whopper of a lie once when I forgot to put money under her pillow one morning...she came to me in tears...I actually had her SEEING the Tooth Fairy flying away after I slipped a dollar under her pillow! So I was not only a liar, but also a SNEAKY liar!

My daughter has asked for my opinion on various outfits she chooses to wear. She wants to know if I like it or not. Some I do and I tell her. Others, I just don't like. And I tell her "no I don't really like that outfit; it just doesn't do a thing for me, but if YOU like it, by all means wear it!" She may be disappointed that I don't like some of the latest teen-age fashion statements but she doesn't really care in the long run. As long as SHE likes it and her FRIENDS like it, all is cool in our household (but I'm lucky she doesn't dress like Brittany Spears and ilk). Likewise, she has let me know if she likes or doesn't like something I'm wearing, but as long as I like it and she doesn't have to wear it, she doesn't really care. Now, both of us sometimes tell the other "you know, that shirt your wearing/how you’re wearing your hair/etc. just doesn't look good on you! PLEASE change it!" We have felt disappointed but grateful for the honesty, especially if we ask for each others opinion, AS LONG AS IT'S DONE WITH LOVE & RESPECT, and NOT to cause hurt and shame; there are good ways and not good ways to be honest. If I ask someone for their opinion, I want them to be honest with me WITH LOVE & RESPECT, and not hold back something they think I may not want to hear. I don't want them to not honor their truth fully (as long as it's done in love & respect) just because they're worried about my feelings. If I’m wanting to hear a specific answer to a question I ask, and I get mad/hurt/sad when I don't hear what I want to hear, I feel I shouldn't have asked the question. I also feel that if someone thinks they have to lie or hold something back to spare a person's feelings, are they instead sparing themselves from the fallout of a negative reaction for giving a full, honest answer? Who are they really protecting in this kind of situation? The other person or themselves?

As for lying to protect someone from harm, I need an example before I comment fully on that one.  But right off hand, I feel that telling them the truth AND about the dangers (whatever they may be...what's dangerous to us may not be to the other person we feel we have to protect) so they can come to their own conclusions and decisions. Otherwise you run the risk of losing the person from your life when they find out you lied to them.

I feel a lie is a lie is a lie; whether one considers it a moral lie or an immoral lie doesn't make it any less a lie. But I feel the truth MUST be told with Love and Respect; if someone can't do that, they need to keep their opinions to themselves; don't be honest at the expense of another person. That spreads poison and that is just SO WRONG. There's enough poison in the world; we don't need to add to it.

Has anyone read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz? Being impeccable with your word is his first agreement to live by. Not always easy, that's for sure! But definitely something worth striving for, I think.

So…what do YOU think?

Life Lessons from Poison Ivy

I am feeling compelled for my first detailed post to be about Poison Ivy.  I really admire Poison Ivy.  I realize most people don’t share my admiration for this rather plain but potentially deadly plant, with good reason I suppose.  Most people have heard the little ditty ‘leaves of three leave it be’ but other plants have evolved to mimic its three-leaf layout such as black raspberry and box elder.  It behooves everyone who likes to spend time outside to be able to recognize her and her shape shifting ways.

Poison Ivy does indeed have three leaves but they can subtly vary in shape.  They can be tiny and they can grow large.  Some have red stems, others do not.  Poison Ivy can grow individually, as shrubs, vines up trees, or vines along the ground, easily blending in with surrounding plants making detection difficult for those not paying attention.  The stems have tiny hairs growing on them.  The color people associate with danger is red.  One would think the berries would be red.  They are not; they are instead white, the color people associate with safety.  Flowers are also whitish.  Some wildlife can eat the berries; humans cannot. 

The entire plant is poisonous, from the roots to the berries.  All parts are covered in a sticky oil called urushiol that causes severe dermatitis in many people.  Even after the plant dries up the urushiol can still make a person’s life miserable.  If your dog rolls in Poison Ivy and then jumps on your bare skin, you could break out in a horrible, itchy rash that spreads when itched and can take waaay too long to heal.  Now, some people decide the best way to eliminate Poison Ivy from yards is to gather the plant (with gloves) and burn it.  Sure, you will destroy the plant but not the urushiol.  That will float up in the smoke and if you breathe it, you will get an internal case of Poison Ivy.  If the wind blows the smoke carrying the urushiol around your neighborhood, the unlucky souls standing in its path will also get it internally (NOT a good way to make friends in the neighborhood!).  This will damage the mucus membranes in the nose, mouth, and throat.  It will get in the lungs and damage them.  It will get in the blood stream.  Remember where the blood flows?  ALL through the body!  Off you and your neighbors go to the hospital!

When I was a Naturalist for a non-profit nature center giving hikes for school groups I always talked about Poison Ivy no matter what the topic was about.  I always asked the group if anyone knew anybody who burned Poison Ivy.  One gentleman in the back of the group raised his hand and said his neighbor did.  I asked him what happened to her.  He stated she had to be buried.  Her lungs swelled and she couldn’t be saved.  Even I wasn’t expecting that.

So, with all that in mind you may wonder what on Earth do I see in Poison Ivy?  What possible good can Poison Ivy do?  What valuable life lessons can she teach anyone who wants to learn them, no matter where they live or what they do for a living?  My answer?  Lots.

First, she teaches us NEVER underestimate anyone or anything based on looks.  This plain ole’ plant that can blend in and be unnoticed sure doesn’t look scary or dangerous but as noted above she can pack quite a wallop to the unwary and unsuspecting.  Remember, TNT comes in small packages.  She is one of the Guardians of Nature.  Cross her and you’ll be sorry!

Second, be aware of your surroundings.  So many people tromp and stampede through the woods, not paying attention to where they are or what they are stomping on.  Not only are they missing out on the beauty of the outdoors, but possibly destroying delicate plants and any nests/animal homes hidden among them.  Would you want someone tromping through your home with no regard?  Neither do the ones who call the outdoors home.  A nasty case of Poison Ivy will hopefully teach you to pay attention to your surroundings.  With the way the world is today this is a good idea no matter where you are.  Many unsuspecting people are victimized everyday by other people in their home, workplace, parking lots and garages…

Third, walk lightly on your feet; step quietly and slow down.  As you become more aware your steps will automatically become lighter and quieter.  Your body and mind will quiet and slow down also.  You will not be able to be aware of your surroundings while stomping and tromping about!  You will not believe all that you were missing as you learn how to do this.  Animals will not reveal themselves to you if you are carelessly going through their territory.  You will the miss the delicate beauty and scent of the dainty flower you stepped on.  So slow down and walk lightly; you won’t be sorry.

Fourth, never say never and don’t be arrogant!  Poison Ivy teaches the arrogant who enter her realm a hard lesson indeed.  I’ve had many people brag they are able to roll around in Poison Ivy and have NEVER broken out and will NEVER break out I don’t bother to tell them (anymore) many people who never had an outbreak after coming in contact with the plant often have the WORST possible experience eventually!  Their arrogance gives them a false sense of security.  I think the plant does this on purpose; she seems to have a painful sense of humor with some people.  So I just smile and nod, knowing Poison Ivy will one day teach them a painful but valuable lesson.

And fifth, know that the Creator places every plant and animal on this Earth for a reason.  Even though we may not understand the whys or how it all fits together, who are we to question and/or destroy that which was put here?  Why not take the time to learn the lessons that Nature and Her creatures, both plant and animal, have to teach us?  The lessons can sometimes be hard but the knowledge gained is priceless. 

         

Giving Yourself the GW Degree

Ok. So I went to college. So I went to Grad School. So I have had other trainings, certifications along the way. So? So WHAT! LOL So I’ve thereby watched myself and many of those I know collect alphabet soup that they can put after their names. And yet. Some - not all, but more than I ever thought existed before I got my own letters – some of the most idiotic, non-commonsensical, arrogant people I know went to “really good schools” and have lots of nice, shiny letters after their names. Sometimes, letters numbering more than those in their names themselves. And yet. Some – not all, but more than I ever thought existed before I got to know them – some of the most brilliant, amazing, insightful, down-to-earth and WISE people that I know don’t have ANY of that. Squat. Nada. Some of them never even made it past grade school. So what does this say for all of those “degrees”? You still have to get to KNOW the person to know if that “degree” after their name means a DAMNED THING anyway. So I said to myself – I’m going to give MYSELF my own DAMNED degree! Something that MEANS something, because it’s something that I know in my heart that I have EARNED and that really does represent a part of ME. Not the fact that I sat in some classroom and vomited out answers on a test 12 years ago. So I gave myself the GW degree. The beauty of this degree is that it’s changeable. It can be anything I want or need it to be at any time. It can change depending on my mood, new insights about myself, or, quite frankly, based on the nature of the person who is asking me “So, what does ‘GW’ stand for. (And – dontcha know, that just suits my Scorpio nature to a T ;-) The beauty of this degree, at it’s heart and soul, is that it will always be MINE. Just as I need it. Just when I need it. No one to take it away from me. You can’t request my transcript or ask to see my diploma because there ISN’T one. It’s me. And I am ENDLESS. So. Presenting me, with my self-conferred GW degree. Ok, you ask, come on you stinker of a Scorpio “I love a mystery” woman, ain’t you gonna share with the class what that GW stands for? So glad you asked! :-) Just remember, even if you ask me again tomorrow, even if you ask me five MINUTES from now, I may very well tell you something completely different. After all, it’s MY damned degree. :-) So here goes... My “GW” stands for: Green Woman Goddess Woman Goddess Worker Green Witch Growing Wiser Genius Wench Gently Wicked Generally Witty <Grins Wryly> Grows Weeds Got Weeds. Got Weeds? Groks Waffles Getting Wider Gutsy Woman Gabby Woman Green Warrior Gentle Warrior Gestating Wisdom Gaining Whatever I need   And so, my fellow classmates in the school of life, Do YOU have a GW degree? It’s easy to get. You just give it to YOURSELF. What would a GW degree mean to YOU? Don't forget, this is an International - no, a UNIVERSAL - degree, so it can be acquired in any language.  Even a language that only makes sense in your own head. So GO for it. After all, It's  YOUR OWN damned degree. ;-) Blessings, esme, GW And the Talking Stick is passed….

Goat keepers?

Hello, does anyone have goats?  I have been looking forward to the day (have finally purchased land with acreage) when I could have my own four legged friend and was curious of stories others may have with theirs.  Kind regards.

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